1. How do you know when the fish is fresh?

Philosophy: “You can't have everything in life - where would you put it?”

2. What English word can have 4 of its 5 letters removed and still retain its original pronunciation?
Clue: it’s a verb English people do obsessively, but Vietnamese are much more relaxed about.

Spot the Song.

How many English song titles can you find in this lovers’ dialogue?

Carol: Hello Fernando.
Fernando: Oh carol! Hello darling. I love you and
nothing’s gonna change my love for you
Carol: Let it be. You don’t have to say you love me…
Fernando: How am I supposed to live without you? You are my everything. Everything I do - I do it for you
Carol: What should I do?
Fernando: Open your heart. Lay all your love on me in our lifetime - a time for us. I don’t want to miss a thing when you say nothing at all.
Carol: It’s the things you do. Set me free.
Fernando: Don’t treat me like a fool. Don’t play with my heart. You mean everything to me.
Carol: Thank you.

Thanks to Hoang Thi Xuan from Quynh Luu - Nghe An province for this

Quote: You can pay people to teach, but you can't pay them to care. - Marva Collins
Pun: Once I got angry in an Italian restaurant, so I gave them a pizza my mind.
Joke: A child comes home from his first day at school. His mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?" The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

The Trouble with English; simple questions, complicated answers
• Why does monosyllabic have five syllables?
• Why is abbreviated such a long word?
• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?l Why do they call it a building? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a built?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
• If price and worth mean the same thing, why are priceless and worthless opposites?
• Is there another word for synonym?
• Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Keep sending in your favourite jokes, riddle and poems, we’ll print the best ones in the next issue and you could win a fantastic prize. Write to: ‘Bang On’ The British Council. 40 Cat Linh, Hanoi

Answers: 1. When it bites your fingers. 2. queue / aitch

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